Talking to the school about problems with other children 2 : When your child has scratches or marks on his/her face or body


Problems with other children are a common occurrence. If you see your child's teachers at times such as when you drop off or pick up your child, speak with them directly about how things are going at school. If you become angry or emotional, it will be difficult to have a rational discussion with the teachers and will not help to resolve the problem. Try to avoid becoming emotional, and focus on conveying the facts and your child's words and behavior. You may, for example, inform the teachers of the fact that your child has a scratch under his/her left eye, and tell them that your child does not want to come to school, or that your child comes home crying. By conveying these things, you will give your child's teachers a very good idea of what you as the parent are feeling. If you are unsure whether you can discuss the matter calmly, first speak with family members or friends about how you feel.

In addition, most preschools would prefer that you do not speak directly with the mother(s) of the other child or children involved. This is out of a desire to prevent relationships between parents from deteriorating. The teachers will talk to the other child or children, and to their parents if necessary.

If you are unable to find an opportunity to speak directly with your child's teachers, or if you speak with them once but the problem continues, you may write of the matter in the renrakucho notebook. However, you should remember that whatever you write in the renrakucho will remain there permanently. Try to avoid becoming emotional, and focus on conveying facts and your child's words and behavior, along with requests that the teachers keep an eye on your child and the situation.

Once the matter is resolved, you may thank the teachers personally, or write them a note of thanks. Sharing a sense of gladness that the problem has been resolved will help to strengthen the bonds of trust between you and the teachers.