連絡帳れんらくちょうこう
Writing in the renrakucho notebook

相談そうだんする
Talking about concerns

1いちともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする
1.Talking to the school about problems with other children

Problems with other children are a common occurrence. If you see your child's teachers at times such as when you drop off or pick up your child, speak with them directly about how things are going at school. If you become angry or emotional, it will be difficult to have a rational discussion with the teachers and will not help to resolve the problem. Try to avoid becoming emotional, and focus on conveying the facts and your child's words and behavior. You may, for example, inform the teachers of the fact that your child has a scratch under his/her left eye, and tell them that your child does not want to come to school, or that your child comes home crying. By conveying these things, you will give your child's teachers a very good idea of what you as the parent are feeling. If you are unsure whether you can discuss the matter calmly, first speak with family members or friends about how you feel.

In addition, most preschools would prefer that you do not speak directly with the mother(s) of the other child or children involved. This is out of a desire to prevent relationships between parents from deteriorating. The teachers will talk to the other child or children, and to their parents if necessary.

If you are unable to find an opportunity to speak directly with your child's teachers, or if you speak with them once but the problem continues, you may write of the matter in the renrakucho notebook. However, you should remember that whatever you write in the renrakucho will remain there permanently. Try to avoid becoming emotional, and focus on conveying facts and your child's words and behavior, along with requests that the teachers keep an eye on your child and the situation.

Once the matter is resolved, you may thank the teachers personally, or write them a note of thanks. Sharing a sense of gladness that the problem has been resolved will help to strengthen the bonds of trust between you and the teachers.

1いち.1いち ともだちにおこられる・悪口わるぐちわれる
1.1 When other children get angry at or say mean things to your child

ともだちにおこられる 1いち
When another child gets angry at your child 1

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにおこられる 1いち
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When another child gets angry at your child 1

This scenario involves a situation in which another child gets angry at your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong. The following model contains a sentence about how your child is doing in general (the fact that your child is enjoying preschool). It is not necessary to include this, but if you do so, it will help the school understand that you are not dissatisfied with the school itself. The message also contains an optional section concerning the talks that you have had with your child at home, which conveys the fact that your child is having difficulty resolving this problem on his/her own.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    My child seems to be enjoying the school performance rehearsals, and he/she is full of smiles as he/she tells us about them at home.
    Actually, there is something that is bothering me. My child says that ○○-chan has been getting mad at him/her these days. And (child's name) says that ○○-chan isn't just getting mad at him/her, but at the other kids a lot too.
    I've told (child's name), "When you want someone to stop something, why don't you say 'stop'?" but he/she just cries and says he/she can't.
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.
    Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

How your child is doing (optional)

遊戯会ゆうぎかい練習れんしゅうたのしいようで、いえかえってからニコニコしながらはなしてくれます。
My child seems to be enjoying the school performance rehearsals, and he/she is full of smiles as he/she tells us about them at home.

Broaching the subject
  • じつは、ちょっと心配しんぱいなことがあります。
    Actually, I am a little worried about something.
  • じつは、ちょっとご相談そうだんしたいことがあります。
    Actually, there is something I'd like to talk to you about.
Explaining the situation
  • 「○○ちゃんが、いじわるをするようになった」とうのです。
    My child says that ○○-chan is being mean to him/her these days.
  • 名前なまえ)だけじゃなく、ほかにもいじわるをするとっています。
    And (child's name) says that ○○-chan isn't just mean to him/her, but to the other kids too.
Conversations at home (optional)

名前なまえ)には、いやなときは、「いや」とったら?とアドバイスしてみたのですが、「えない~」といていました。
I've told (child's name), "When you want someone to stop something, why don't you say 'stop'?" but he/she just cries and says he/she can't.

Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests

すみませんが、すこ様子ようすていただけませんか。
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

よろしくおねがいします。
Thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

ともだちにおこられる 2
When another child gets angry at your child 2

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにおこられる 2
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When another child gets angry at your child 2

This scenario involves a situation in which another child gets angry at your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong. In this case, you have discussed the situation once with the teacher during a home visit, but the problem has still not been resolved.

In the optional "Parent's thoughts" section, statements such as, "Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened," and, "If (child's name) is doing anything wrong, I'll speak to him/her about it at home," effectively convey the fact that the parent is approaching the situation in a calm and rational manner.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    We discussed this when you visited me at home, but (child's name) says that ○○-chan still gets mad at him/her for no reason, and that ○○-chan is mean to him/her.
    Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened, but I wondered if you could keep an eye on things.
    If (child's name) is doing anything wrong, I'll speak to him/her about it at home.
    Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

おはようございます。
Good morning.

Broaching the subject
  • 先日せんじつ、ちょっとおはなししましたが、
    As I mentioned to you the other day,
Explaining the situation

名前なまえ)が「○○ちゃんはなにもしていないのにおこる」「○○ちゃんが、いじめる」とっています。
(Child's name)says that ○○-chan still gets mad at him/her for no reason, and that ○○-chan is mean to him/her.

Parent's thoughts

どものうことなので、実際じっさいなにがあったのかわかりませんが、
Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened, but...

Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests

様子ようすをみていただけませんか?
I wondered if you could keep an eye on things.

Parent's thoughts (optional)

名前なまえ)がわるいようならいえでも注意ちゅういします。
If(Child's name)is doing anything wrong, I'll speak to him/her about it at home.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

よろしくおねがいします。
Thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 1いち
When another child says mean things 1

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 1いち
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When another child says mean things 1

This scenario involves a situation in which another child says mean or unkind things to your child because he/she has a foreign parent. Do not blame your nationality for causing the problem, and talk to a teacher about what has happened.

However, there may be some teachers who are not fully sensitive to the pain that this has caused you as the parent. You may need to explain things carefully, or have a family member or friend explain your feelings for you.

The following model opens with a comment on how your child is doing in general (the fact that your child is enjoying preschool). It is not necessary to include this, but if you do so, it will help the school understand that you are not dissatisfied with the school itself.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    My child is recently having so much fun playing with ○○-kun and △△-kun in the school playground that he tells me not to come and pick him up too early!
    Actually, there is something that is bothering me. Yesterday, △△-kun apparently told my child that he should "go back to Korea."(Child's name)didn't really think anything of it, and I don't think that △△-kun meant any harm, but as a parent, I can't help but be a little bit worried.
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.
    Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

おはようございます。
Good morning.

How your child is doing (optional)

最近さいきんは、○○くんや、△△くんと園庭えんていあそぶのがたのしいみたいで、「おむかえはおそて」とわれたりします。
My child is recently having so much fun playing with ○○-kun and △△-kun in the school playground that he tells me not to come and pick him up too early!

Broaching the subject
  • じつは、ちょっと心配しんぱいなことがあります。
    Actually, I am a little worried about something.
  • じつは、ちょっとご相談そうだんしたいことがあります。
    Actually, there is something I'd like to talk to you about.
Explaining the situation
  • きのう、○○くんに「おまえ、アメリカじん?」とかれたそうです。
    Yesterday, ○○-kun apparently asked my child, "Are you an American?"
  • きのう、□□ちゃんに「外人がいじん!」とわれたそうです。
    Yesterday, □□-kun apparently said, "Hey foreigner!" to my child.
Child's words/behavior at home
  • 名前なまえ)はあまりにしてないみたいですが、「ぼくは何人なにじん?」といてきました。
    (Child's name)didn't seem particularly bothered by it, but he/she did ask me, "What nationality am I?"
  • 名前なまえ)はショックだったみたいで「わたし日本人にほんじんじゃないの?」といていました。
    (Child's name)seemed very upset, and was crying when he/she asked me, "Aren't I Japanese?"
Parent's thoughts
  • やはり、おやとしては、いじめにつながったら…とおもうと心配しんぱいです。
    As a parent, I can't help but worry that this might escalate into bullying.
  • やはり、おやとしては、こんなことがこれからもつづいたら…とおもうと、とても心配しんぱいです。
    As a parent, I am very worried that this same sort of thing might happen again.
Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests

すみませんが、様子ようすていただけないでしょうか。
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

よろしくおねがいします。
Thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 2
When another child says mean things 2

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 2
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When another child says mean things 2

This scenario involves a situation in which another child says mean things to your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong. In this case, your child has just changed preschools, and has not had time to make friends at the new preschool yet. After a problem with one child (Model A) has been resolved, a problem with another child (Model B) arises.

In the optional "Parent's thoughts" section, statements such as, "Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened," effectively convey the fact that the parent is approaching the situation in a calm and rational manner.

Model A

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm actually writing because recently, my child has said that ○○-chan has been saying mean things to him/her.
    Yesterday, ○○-chan told my child, "Those clothes are weird!" and this morning my child was worrying, "What if she says these clothes are weird too...?"
    Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened.
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.
    Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions A

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

Explaining the situation

じつは、最近さいきん、「○○ちゃんがイヤなことをってくる」とっています。
I'm actually writing because recently, my child has said that ○○-chan has been saying mean things to him/her.

  • 「もう一緒いっしょあそばない!」とわれたそうです。
    Yesterday, the other child said, "I won't play with you anymore!"
  • ないで!あっち、って!」とわれたそうです。
    My child was told, "Don't come here! Go away!"
Child's words/behavior at home
  • 今朝けさは「今日きょうわれたらどうしよう…」ときそうでした。
    This morning, my child was on the verge of tears and saying, "What if (the other child) says the same things to me today too?"
Parent's thoughts (optional)

どものはなしなので、実際じっさい様子ようすはわかりません。
Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened.

Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests

すみませんが、すこ様子ようすていただけないでしょうか。
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

よろしくおねがいします。
Thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

Model B

After a problem with one child has been resolved, a problem with another child arises.

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm sorry to bother you again, but I'm writing because my child is now saying that △△-chan has been getting mad at him/her, and I was wondering how things were. My child entered this school as a nenchu (second-year) student, and I guess he/she probably hasn't been able to make many friends yet?
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions B

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話せわになっています。
As always, thank you for everything.

Broaching the subject
  • 何度なんどもすみません。
    I'm sorry to bring this up again.
Explaining the situation

じつは、「今度こんどは△△ちゃんが(名前なまえ)のことをおこる」というのですが、
I'm writing because my child is now saying that △△-chan has been getting mad at him/her,

Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests
  • 様子ようすていただけないでしょうか。
    I was wondering if you could keep an eye on the situation.
Subject of concern

年中ねんちゅうからはいったので、なかなかおともだちができないのでしょうか。
My child entered this school as a nenchu (second-year) student, and I guess he/she probably hasn't been able to make many friends yet?

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

すみませんが、よろしくおねがいします。
I'm sorry to trouble you, but thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

1いち.2 かおからだきずができている
(2) When your child has scratches or marks on his/her face or body

ともだちにひっかかれる
When your child is scratched by another child

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにひっかかれる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child is scratched by another child

This scenario involves another child scratching your child on the face. A parent would naturally be upset to see their child return home with scratches on his/her face, but this message focuses on finding out what happened.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm actually writing because yesterday,(Child's name)came home with a scratch on his/her face. Did he/she have a fight with one of the other children? Is my child getting along with the other children?
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話せわになっています。
As always, thank you for everything.

Explaining the situation
  • じつは、昨日きのう、(名前なまえ)のうでに、あざがあるのにがつきました。
    I'm actually writing because yesterday, I noticed a bruise on my child's arm.
  • じつは、昨日きのう、(名前なまえ)の右手みぎてに、歯形はがたがあってあかくなっているのにがつきました。
    I'm actually writing because yesterday, I noticed that my child's right hand was red and had a bite mark on it.
Subject of concern

ともだちとけんかでもしたのでしょうか。みんなとなかよくできているのでしょうか。
Did he/she have a fight with one of the other children? Is my child getting along with the other children?

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

2.発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする
2.Talking about concerns related to your child's emotional and physical development

Parents often worry about the emotional and physical development of their children. Children may have trouble using the toilet, be slow to develop language abilities, be very fussy eaters, have trouble sleeping at night, or have occasional tantrums at home, among many other things. Even if your worries are not directly related to your child's preschool life, you may get the advice you need if you share your concerns with a teacher. In addition, getting advice from a teacher may help you feel less anxious and put your mind at ease. If necessary, the teachers may also be able to recommend a specialist who you can talk to. It may be best to speak to teachers directly about these issues.

どもがわがままになってきた
When your child displays selfish behavior

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / どもがわがままになってきた
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child displays selfish behavior

This scenario involves a parent who becomes worried when his/her child becomes overly self-assertive and starts displaying selfish behavior.

The following model opens with a comment on how the child is doing in general (the fact that the child is enjoying preschool). It is not necessary to include this, but doing so will help the school understand that the parent is not dissatisfied with the school itself.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    My child talks a lot about preschool these days, and I'm glad that she seems to be having a lot of fun!
    However, there is something that is bothering me.
    My child has become very picky about the clothes she wears and the way we do her hair each morning, and she can be really difficult.
    I don't know if she's just learning to assert herself, or if she's copying her friends, but I feel like I should do something.
    It feels like she's becoming selfish, which worries me.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

How your child is doing (optional)

最近さいきんえんはなしをよくしてくれるので、たのしそうでいいな~とおもっています。
My child talks a lot about preschool these days, and I'm glad that she seems to be having a lot of fun!

Broaching the subject
  • ただ、ちょっと心配しんぱいなことがあります。
    However, there is something that worries me a little.
  • ただ、ちょっとご相談そうだんしたいことがあります。
    However, there is something that I'd like to talk to you about.
Explaining the situation

毎朝まいあさふくかみかたにこだわって、本当ほんとうにうるさいのです。
My child has become very picky about the clothes she wears and the way we do her hair each morning, and she can be really difficult.

Subject of concern

自己主張じこしゅちょうなのか、おともだちのまねかわからないのですが、
I don't know if she's just learning to assert herself, or if she's copying her friends, but...

  • もっときびしくしたほうがいいでしょうか。
    I wonder if I should be stricter with him/her.
  • きなようにさせてもいいでしょうか。
    Do you think I should just let him/her have his/her own way?
Parent's feelings

わがままになっているようながしてちょっと心配しんぱいです。
It feels like she's becoming selfish, which worries me.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えんのトイレでうんちができない
When your child cannot poop in the preschool potty

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / えんのトイレでうんちができない
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child cannot poop in the preschool potty

This scenario involves a child who has changed preschools and is still not very used to the new preschool, with the parent worried whether the child is able to poop at school. Including examples of conversations between parent and child helps the teachers to understand what is going on at home.

The following model opens with a comment on how the child is doing in general (the fact that the child is enjoying preschool). It is not necessary to include this, but doing so will help the school understand that the parent is not dissatisfied with the school itself.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    When we first started this school, my child would always say, "I don't want to go!", but now the question is, "Tomorrow, I go to school, right?", and he/she is always excited about going to school.
    Actually, I'm writing because there is something that is bothering me. Has my child been able to poop at school? He/She still has trouble wiping his/her own bottom...
    When I ask (child's name), "Are you pooping at school?", he/she says, "No!"
    When I ask, "Why not?", he/she doesn't say anything.
    When I say, "Maybe I'll ask the teachers about it...", he/she says, "Don't ask!"
    Is my child having trouble pooping at school?
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

How your child is doing (optional)

こちらの保育園ほいくえんはいって、最初さいしょ毎日まいにちかない!」とっていましたが、いまは、「明日あした保育園ほいくえんく?」と、毎日まいにちたのしみにしています。
When we first started this school, my child would always say, "I don't want to go!", but now the question is, "Tomorrow, I go to school, right?", and he/she is always excited about going to school.

Broaching the subject
  • じつは、ちょっと心配しんぱいなことがあるのですが、
    I am actually writing because there is something that worries me a little.
  • じつは、ちょっとご相談そうだんしたいことがあるのですが、
    Actually, there is something that I'd like to talk to you about.
Subject of concern 1

名前なまえ)はえんでウンチしていますか?まだ上手じょうずにおしりをふけないのですが…。
Has my child been able to poop at school? He/She still has trouble wiping his/her own bottom...

Conversations at home

わたし「(名前なまえ)ちゃん、保育園ほいくえんでウンチしてる?」
When I ask (child's name), "Are you pooping at school?",
名前なまえ)「しない!」
he/she says, "No!"
わたし「なんで?」
When I ask, "Why not?",
名前なまえ)「…」
he/she doesn't say anything.
わたし「先生せんせいいてみようかな~」
When I say, "Maybe I'll ask the teachers about it...",
名前なまえ)「いちゃダメ!」
he/she says, "Don't ask!"

Subject of concern 2

保育園ほいくえんではウンチをしていないのでしょうか。
Is my child having trouble pooping at school?

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

おもらしをする
When your child has toilet training accidents

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / おもらしをする
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child has toilet training accidents

This scenario concerns a child who has pooping accidents at school. The parent worries that the situation at home is causing this.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    I'm sorry that my child continues to have pooping accidents.
    Our pediatrician thinks that it might be stress-related.
    My younger child takes up a lot of my time, so my older child might not be getting the attention that he/she needs from me.
    He/She may have an accident again, but I'd appreciate your understanding.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

おはようございます。
Good morning.

Apology (Useful phrases 3.Apologizing

うんちのおもらしがつづいていてすみません。
I'm sorry that my child continues to have pooping accidents.

Information

小児科しょうにか先生せんせいに、ストレスではないかとわれました。
Our pediatrician thinks that it might be stress-related.

Subject of concern

したちいさくてがかかるので、なかなかおやあまえられないからでしょうか。
My younger child takes up a lot of my time, so my older child might not be getting the attention that he/she needs from me.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

またおもらしをするかもしれませんが、よろしくおねがいします。
He/She may have an accident again, but I'd appreciate your understanding.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

あさえんいておやからはなれない
When your child cries and has trouble saying goodbye at school in the morning

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / あさえんいておやからはなれない
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child cries and has trouble saying goodbye at school in the morning

This scenario involves a child who cries and has a hard time separating from his/her parents when taken to school in the morning. The mother wonders whether she and her husband should not spend too much time at the preschool, and asks the teacher for advice.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    Actually, I'm writing because recently, my child cries a lot and has trouble saying goodbye to me or his/her daddy in the mornings.
    We try to stay with our child for a while at school in the morning, but we wonder whether this is just making things worse.
    Do you think that if parents spend too much time at the school, it just makes it all the more difficult for children to let their parents go?
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate your advice.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

Explaining the situation

じつは、最近さいきんあさずっといていて、なかなかおやからはなれません。
Actually, I'm writing because recently, my child cries a lot and has trouble saying goodbye to me or his/her daddy in the mornings.

Subject of concern
  • あまりなが時間じかんおやえんにいると、おやからはなれられなくなるのでしょうか。
    Do you think that if parents spend too much time at the school, it just makes it all the more difficult for children to let their parents go?
Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

すみませんが、よろしくおねがいします。
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate your advice.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

どもがえんべない-再度さいど相談そうだんする場合ばあい
When your child refuses to eat at school (a continuing discussion)

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / どもがえんべない
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child refuses to eat at school (a continuing discussion)

This scenario concerns a child who is in good health, but who refuses to eat school lunches and snacks at the preschool. This situation has been going on for about two months, and the parent and teacher have continued to discuss the situation, both in person and through the renrakucho. The situation has not yet been resolved, and here, the worried parent writes about her concerns once again.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I was wondering, what does my child do at school during the bento lunch time?
    When I ask (child's name), he/she says, "I cry for my Mommy..."
    Today, I told him/her that, "Since you don't eat at kindergarten, it makes Mommy sad," and he/she seemed to be listening to me.
    I wonder if my child will start eating once he/she gets used to school...
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

Question

弁当べんとう時間じかん、(名前なまえ)はなにをしてごしていますか?
I was wondering, what does my child do at school during the bento lunch time?

Conversations at home

名前なまえ)は「ママ~ってくの」とうのですが…。今日きょう、「幼稚園ようちえんべてこないからママはうれしくない」とったら、真剣しんけんいていました。
When I ask (child's name), he/she says, "I cry for my Mommy..." Today, I told him/her that, "Since you don't eat at kindergarten, it makes Mommy sad," and he/she seemed to be listening to me.

Subject of concern

えん雰囲気ふんいきれたらべるのでしょうか…。
I wonder if my child will start eating once he/she gets used to school...

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

3さん相談そうだんのための面談めんだんもう
3.Requesting a meeting with a teacher to discuss your concerns

面談めんだんもう
Requesting a meeting with a teacher

When you have a concern you would like to discuss with a teacher, it may be best to speak with the teacher directly. You may request a meeting with the teacher by writing a message in the renrakucho or by telephoning the school. If you write a message in the renrakucho, tell the teacher when you can meet, and ask when a convenient time for the teacher would be.

Model

  • From the home
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I have something I'd like to discuss with you, and I was wondering if you could spare me some time.
    I could meet you on any day of the week, but I'd appreciate it if we could meet around 5:30, after I get off work.
    I'd be grateful if you could take some time from your busy schedule to meet with me.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話せわになっています。
As always, thank you for everything.

Request (Useful phrases 5.Requests
  • ちょっと相談そうだんしたいことがあるのでお電話でんわしてもいいでしょうか。
    There is something I'd like to talk to you about, and I was wondering if I could telephone you.
When you can meet
  • わたしほうはいつでもいいです。
    Anytime is fine with me.
  • こちらは火曜日かようび木曜日もくようびだといいです。時間じかん何時なんじでもいいです。
    Tuesday or Thursday would work for me. I can meet at any time on those days.
Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

いそがしいところすみませんが、どうぞよろしくおねがいいたします。
I'd be grateful if you could take some time from your busy schedule to meet with me.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

面談めんだん日時にちじ確認かくにんしおれい
Confirming the meeting date/time and thanking the teacher

After hearing back from the teacher, you may write a message to confirm the date and time and thank the teacher.

Model

  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    That will be fine.
    We have a staff meeting tomorrow, so how about the day after tomorrow at 5:30?
    Thank you.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for getting back to me.
    I will come to school the day after tomorrow at around 5:30 then.
    Thank you very much.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Thanking the teacher (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude

返事へんじありがとうございます。
Thank you for getting back to me.

Confirming the meeting time
  • では、明日あす12時半じゅうにじはんごろにお電話でんわします。
    I will telephone you tomorrow at around 12:30 then.
Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

どうぞよろしくおねがいいたします。
Thank you very much.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

4よんえん対応たいおうたいしておれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる
4.Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response

If you approach the preschool with a concern, the preschool will not fail to respond in one way or another. When expressing thanks for this response, you could also inform the school of your child's reactions or behavior, as well as your own feelings. This would be another way to share information with teachers regarding the subject of concern.

It would also be appropriate to express thanks once an issue or problem has been resolved. Sharing a sense of gladness that the problem has been resolved will help to strengthen the bonds of trust between you and the teachers.

Even if, on the other hand, a problem is not resolved to a parent's satisfaction, Japanese parents refrain from expressing anger or annoyance in the renrakucho notebooks, and they also avoid writing critical comments faulting the teachers for their actions or calling them "irresponsible". This reflects a desire on the part of parents to work together with the preschool to resolve problems, along with the realization that whatever is written in a renrakucho remains there permanently and cannot be unwritten. Rather than becoming emotional or criticizing the school or other people in the renrakucho, try to express your desire to work alongside the school in resolving problems.

えん対応たいおうたいするおれいつたえる
Thanking the school for its response

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにひっかかれる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / Thanking the school for its response

You may write a message to thank the school for responding to your concerns. It is not necessary to write about your own feelings or impressions, but doing so will help the teachers understand your desire to work alongside them.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I really appreciate your message and telephone call.
    I feel much better now that I know how (child's name) is doing.
    Thank you for your continued support.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

いつもお世話せわになっています。
As always, thank you for everything.

Thanking the school (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude
  • えんでの様子ようすおしえてくださって、ありがとうございます。
    Thank you for letting me know how my child is doing at school.
  • 返事へんじ、ありがとうございました。
    Thank you for getting back to me.
  • アドバイス、ありがとうございます。
    Thank you for your advice.
Parent's feelings/impressions (optional)
  • おかげでらくになりました。
    You've helped put my mind at ease.
Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)
  • これからもよろしくおねがいします。
    I look forward to your support from now on as well.
  • よろしくおねがいします。
    Thank you.
  • 今日きょうもよろしくおねがいします。
    Thanks for looking after my child again today.
Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えん対応たいおうたいするおれい家庭かていでのやりとりをつたえる
Thanking the school for its response, and talking about conversations at home

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにおこられる 2
5. Examples of communications between home and school / When another child gets angry at your child 2

You may write a message to thank the school for responding to your concerns, and to inform the teachers of what you and your child have been talking about. This will be a way for you to share information with the teachers as you work towards resolving your concerns.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    Thank you for listening to my concerns.
    My child is still not very fond of ○○-chan, but we've talked about it, and he/she understands that ○○-chan doesn't mean any harm.
    Thank you for your trouble.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Greeting (Useful phrases 1.Greeting

おはようございます。
Good morning.

Thanking the school (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude

はなしいてくださってありがとうございました。
Thank you for listening to my concerns.

Conversations at home

相変あいかわらず○○ちゃんのことは苦手にがてみたいですが、悪気わるぎがないことを理解りかいしてあげるようにはなしました。
My child is still not very fond of ○○-chan, but we've talked about it, and he/she understands that ○○-chan doesn't mean any harm.

Thanking the school (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude

手数てすうをおかけしました。
Thank you for your trouble.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

Supplement
  • 「お手数てすうをおかけしました」(otesu o okake shimashita, or "thank you for your trouble") is used to express gratitude, or to apologize, to teachers for the trouble they have taken for you. Here, the phrase is used in gratitude.

えん対応たいおうたいして家庭かていでのやりとりをつたえる
Informing the school of conversations at home that relate to the school's response

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / どもがえんべない
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child refuses to eat at school

This scenario concerns a child who is in good health, but who refuses to eat school lunches and snacks at the preschool. This situation has been going on for about two months, and the parent and teacher have continued to discuss the situation, both in person and through the renrakucho. Here the parent talks about what is going on at home as a way of sharing information with the school.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    Until yesterday, my child was saying, "I won't go to kindergarten," but this morning he/she started saying that, "I won't eat the kindergarten snacks," and "I'll bring back the snacks for Mommy."
    When we're offered snacks at other people's houses, (child's name) has a tendency not to eat them, and it may take him/her a little longer to eat the snacks he/she is given at school.
    I'm sorry for this, but I appreciate your understanding.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Conversations at home

昨日きのうまでは、あさ幼稚園ようちえんかない」とっていましたが、今朝けさは「幼稚園ようちえんでおやつべない」「ママにもってきてあげる」と何度なんどっていました。
Until yesterday, my child was saying, "I won't go to kindergarten," but this morning he/she started saying that, "I won't eat the kindergarten snacks," and "I'll bring back the snacks for Mommy."

Parent's thoughts

名前なまえ)は、ほかのおたくでお菓子かしをいただいても、なかなかべないタイプです。えんでおやつをべるには、もうすこ時間じかん必要ひつようなのかもしれません。
When we're offered snacks at other people's houses, (child's name) has a tendency not to eat them, and it may take him/her a little longer to eat the snacks he/she is given at school.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

すみませんが、よろしくおねがいします。
I'm sorry for this, but I appreciate your understanding.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 1
Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 1

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにかじられる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child is bitten by another child

This scenario involves a nursery school class for 1-year-olds in which one child has been bitten by another child over a period of about 4 months. The teachers have explained what has happened and apologized to the parent at pick-up time, but after her child has been bitten by the other child for numerous days in a row, the parent has decided to write a message in the renrakucho notebook. The parent has selected the renrakucho option because direct discussions with the teachers have yielded nothing more than the same explanations and apologies. In addition, by including dates with the renrakucho messages, the messages also serve as a record of when the problem started and how long it has continued.

In the following model, the parent refrains from criticizing the school or teachers, but instead conveys her desire that something be done for her child by stating how sad she is to see the bite marks on her child's face, and by emphasizing how much her child loves the school and his/her school friends.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    April 5
    As always, thank you for everything.
    Since it is difficult for children to express themselves with words at this age, I understand that biting is common.
    But even though I understand this, as a parent, it still upsets me to see the marks on my child's face.
    However, (child's name) does love his/her friends and (school's name).
    I hope that something can be done.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Date

4月5日しがついつか
April 5

Greeting

世話様せわさまです。
As always, thank you for everything.

Parent's thoughts

いま時期じきは、なかなか言葉ことばえないので、
Since it is difficult for children to express themselves with words at this age,

  • たたいたりすることがおおいんだとおもいます。
    I understand that it is common for children to hit each other.
  • るんだとおもいます。
    I understand that children can become physical with each other.
Parent's feelings
  • わかっているのですが、やはりおやとしてはどものからだにあざがあると、かなしくなります。
    But even though I understand this, as a parent, it still upsets me to see the bruises on my child's body.
How your child is doing

でも(名前なまえ)はおともだちが大好だいすきで、(えん名前なまえ)も大好だいすきです。
However, (child's name) does love his/her friends and (school's name).

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

どうかよろしくおねがいします。
I hope that something can be done.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 2
Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 2

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにかじられる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child is bitten by another child

In this case, the parent writes a message in the renrakucho after a teacher calls with an explanation and an apology regarding the subject of concern. The problem has still not been resolved, so although the parent thanks the teacher for the telephone call, she does not thank the school for its response. She expresses her thoughts and feelings, and tries to let the teacher know that while she has trust in the school, she also deeply hopes that something can be done for her child.

By including dates with the renrakucho messages, the messages also serve as a record of when the problem started and how long it has continued.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    May 17
    Thank you for your phone call yesterday.
    The mark on my child's cheek does not appear to be painful.
    Since the children interact with each other more often these days, I guess they fight more often too?
    I know the teachers are keeping a close eye on everything, so I hope that we won't be seeing any more of this in the future.
    Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Date

5月17日ごがつじゅうしちにち
May 17

Greeting

昨日きのうはお電話でんわありがとうございました。
Thank you for your phone call yesterday.

How your child is doing

ほっぺたのきずいたくはなさそうです。
The mark on my child's cheek does not appear to be painful.

Parent's thoughts

ともだちとのかかわりがおおくなってきたので、ぶつかることもえているのでしょうか。
Since the children interact with each other more often these days, I guess they fight more often too?

Parent's feelings

先生方せんせいがたがしっかりかかわってくださっているので、これ以上いじょうつづかなければいいなあとおもっています。
I know the teachers are keeping a close eye on everything, so I hope that we won't be seeing any more of this in the future.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

どうぞよろしくおねがいします。
Thank you.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 3
Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 3

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにかじられる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child is bitten by another child

The day after meeting with the teacher in charge of her child's class, the parent writes a message to thank the teacher for the meeting and write about her feelings. The problem remains unresolved, so the parent still does not thank the school for its response. The parent writes of her worries and her heartfelt hope that the situation will improve.

By including dates with the renrakucho messages, the messages also serve as a record of when the problem started and how long it has continued.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    August 2
    I'm glad I was able to talk to you about (child's name) yesterday.
    I try to tell myself that things like this can't be helped with children this age, but at the same time, I wonder why this situation has continued for so long, and every day I worry that my child will be bitten again.
    As a parent who entrusts you with their child, I sincerely hope that something can be done about this.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Date

8月2日はちがつふつか
August 2

Thanking the school (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude

昨日きのうは(名前なまえ)のことでおはなしができてよかったです。
I'm glad I was able to talk to you about (child's name) yesterday.

Parent's feelings

あたまでは「この時期じきはしょうがない」とおもっても「どうしてこんなにつづくんだろう。今日きょうもやられるかな」と不安ふあんになってしまいます。どもをあずけるおやとしては「どうかよろしくおねがいします」という気持きもちしかありません。
I try to tell myself that things like this can't be helped with children this age, but at the same time, I wonder why this situation has continued for so long, and every day I worry that my child will be bitten again. As a parent who entrusts you with their child, I sincerely hope that something can be done about this.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 4
Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 4

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい / ともだちにかじられる
5.Examples of communications between home and school / When your child is bitten by another child

The day after meeting with the head of the preschool and the teacher in charge of her child's class, the parent writes a message to apologize for having been overly blunt in expressing her feelings as a parent. By asking the school to let her know if she and her husband can be of any help, she effectively conveys the fact that she considers the discussion of this matter closed.

Model

  • Model
  • English translation
    August 4
    Thank you for meeting with me until so late yesterday.
    I'd like to apologize for the many things that I said then.
    I do realize that we adults have to work together to create a safe and healthy environment for our children, and I am well aware that the teachers are doing everything they can for the children.
    If there is anything my husband and I can do to help with this situation, we would be very happy to do what we can, and I hope you will let us know.
    I look forward to your continued support.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

Conversational flow and useful expressions

Date

8月4日はちがつよっか
August 4

Thanking the school (Useful phrases 2.Expressing gratitude

昨日きのうおそくまで時間じかんっていただき、ありがとうございました。
Thank you for meeting with me until so late yesterday.

Apologizing (Useful phrases 3.Apologizing

色々勝手いろいろかってなことをってしまってすみませんでした。
I'd like to apologize for the many things that I said then.

Parent's thoughts

わたしたち大人おとながやらなければならないことは「どもたちが安心あんしんしてらせる環境かんきょうづくり」だとおもいました。先生方せんせいがたどもたちのために頑張がんばっていることはよくかっています。わたしたちおやができることがあれば協力きょうりょくしていきたいとおもいますので、ぜひこえをかけてください。
I do realize that we adults have the responsibility to create a safe and healthy environment for our children. I am well aware that the teachers are doing everything they can for the children. If there is anything my husband and I can do to help with this situation, we would be very happy to do what we can, and I hope you will let us know.

Closing (Useful phrases 4.Closing phrases (requests)

これからもどうぞよろしくおねがいします。
I look forward to your continued support.

Parent's name (Useful phrases 6.Writing your name or referring to yourself

佐藤さとう
Sato

5家庭かていえんとのやりとりの全体ぜんたい
5.Examples of communications between home and school

ともだちにおこられる 1いち
When another child gets angry at your child 1

1いち.ともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする / ともだちにおこられる 1いち
1.Talking to the school about problems with other children / When another child gets angry at your child 1

This scenario involves a situation in which another child gets angry at your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong.

Model

  • From the home
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything. My child seems to be enjoying the school performance rehearsals, and she is full of smiles as she tells us about them at home.
    Actually, there is something that is bothering me. My child says that ○○-chan has been getting mad at her these days. And (child's name) says that ○○-chan isn't just getting mad at her, but at the other kids a lot too. I've told (child's name), "When you want someone to stop something, why don't you say 'stop'?" but she just cries and says she can't. I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school:
  • Model
  • English translation
    I see... Since they're all good friends, ○○-chan may find it easy to be a little selfish or short-tempered with (child's name) and the others. They seemed to play nicely together today, so I'll keep an eye on things for a while, and if I notice anything, I'll talk to the kids about it.
    If your child says anything at home about ○○-chan getting mad at her again, please let me know. Thank you.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

ともだちにおこられる 2
When another child gets angry at your child 2

1いち. ともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする / ともだちにおこられる 2
1. Talking to the school about problems with other children / When another child gets angry at your child 2

4よん. おれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいするおれい家庭かていでのやりとりをつたえる
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Thanking the school for its response, and talking about conversations at home

This scenario involves a situation in which another child gets angry at your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong. In this case, you have discussed the situation once with the teacher during a home visit, but the problem has still not been resolved.

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    We discussed this when you visited me at home, but (child's name) says that ○○-chan still gets mad at him for no reason, and that ○○-chan is mean to him. Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened, but I wondered if you could keep an eye on things. If (child's name) is doing anything wrong, I'll speak to him about it at home. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school A
  • Model
  • English translation
    We're sorry to have caused you some worry. Today, I spoke to (child's name). He said that when he was brushing his teeth, the other child told him to "hurry it up." He also said that when he accidentally put his pants on backwards, the other child scolded him about it. I had a long talk with the other child, telling her that she should try to say things to other children in a nice way, and she apologized to (child's name). I'm really very sorry about all of this.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning. Thank you for listening to my concerns. My child is still not very fond of ○○-chan, but we've talked about it, and he understands that she doesn't mean any harm. Thank you for your trouble.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school B
  • Model
  • English translation
    Once again, we're very sorry about all of this. There are children who have trouble getting along with some of the other children, but I think it's important that they learn to deal with these kinds of relationships.
    If there is anything else, please let us know.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 1いち
When another child says mean things 1

1いち. ともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする / ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 1いち
1. Talking to the school about problems with other children / When another child says mean things 1

This scenario involves a situation in which another child says mean or unkind things to your child because he/she has a foreign parent.

Model

  • From the home
  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning. My child is recently having so much fun playing with ○○-kun and △△-kun in the school playground that he tells me not to come and pick him up too early!
    Actually, there is something that is bothering me. Yesterday, △△-kun apparently told my child that he should "go back to Korea." (Child's name) didn't really think anything of it, and I don't think that △△-kun meant any harm, but as a parent, I can't help but be a little bit worried.
    I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    We're very sorry about all of this. Today, I spoke to △△-kun, and he said that there was an argument, and it just slipped out. I asked him to think how (child's name) felt after hearing that, and he seemed to understand. The three boys played nicely together all day today, so I don't think there is anything to worry about, but I'll be careful to keep an eye on things. If there is anything else that you are worried about, please let us know.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 2
When another child says mean things 2

1いち. ともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする / ともだちに悪口わるぐちわれる 2
1. Talking to the school about problems with other children / When another child says mean things 2

This scenario involves a situation in which another child says mean things to your child, even though your child has done nothing wrong. In this case, your child has just changed preschools, and has not had time to make friends at the new preschool yet. After a problem with one child (From the home A) has been resolved, a problem with another child (From the home B) arises.

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm actually writing because recently, my child has said that ○○-chan has been saying mean things to her. Yesterday, ○○-chan told my child, "Those clothes are weird!" and this morning my child was worrying, "What if she says these clothes are weird too...?" Since it's children talking, it's hard to know exactly what happened. I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate it if you could keep your eye on the situation. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school A
  • Model
  • English translation
    We're very sorry that this has caused you concern.
    ○○-chan apparently wants to be friends with your child, but she can't seem to help teasing her. However, I've talked to her about how you shouldn't say things to other people that you wouldn't want to hear yourself, and she seems to understand. If this continues, please let me know. Thank you.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm sorry to bother you again, but I'm writing because my child is now saying that △△-chan has been getting mad at her, and I was wondering how things were. My child entered this school as a nenchu (second-year) student, and I guess she probably hasn't been able to make many friends yet? I'm sorry to trouble you, but thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school B
  • Model
  • English translation
    We're very sorry about all of this. All of the kids are happy that (child's name) has joined us at the school, but they can have difficulty expressing their feelings properly. I saw △△-chan scolding your child, and I spoke to both the children about it. I asked △△-chan to try to express herself in a nicer way, and I talked to (child's name) about △△-chan's feelings. I'll continue to keep my eye on things, but if there is anything else that bothers you, please let me know. Thank you.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

ともだちにひっかかれる
When your child is scratched by another child

1いち.ともだち関係かんけいのトラブルについて相談そうだんする / ともだちにひっかかれる
1. Talking to the school about problems with other children / When your child is scratched by another child

4よん.おれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいするおれいつたえる
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts / Thanking the school for its response

This scenario involves another child scratching your child on the face.

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I'm actually writing because yesterday, (child's name) came home with a scratch on her face. Did she have a fight with one of the other children? Is my child getting along with the other children?
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    I am so sorry that we didn't notice the scratch. When I asked (child's name) about it, she said that she got it when she was playing with another child. (Child's name) gets along very well with the other children, and they never fight. There is no problem with any of the other kids being mean to her. I'm very sorry that we didn't do anything about the scratch before your child went home, and we apologize for having caused you so much worry.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything. I really appreciate your message and telephone call. I feel much better now that I know how (child's name) is doing.
    Thank you for your continued support.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

ともだちにかじられる
When your child is bitten by another child

This scenario involves a nursery school class for 1-year-olds in which one child has been bitten by another child over a period of about 4 months.

From the home A

4よん.えん対応たいおうたいしておれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 1
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 1

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    April 5
    As always, thank you for everything.
    Since it is difficult for children to express themselves with words at this age, I understand that biting is common. But even though I understand this, as a parent, it still upsets me to see the marks on my child's face. However, (child's name) does love his friends and (school's name). I hope that something can be done.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school A
  • Model
  • English translation
    I'm very sorry for all the worry that we caused you yesterday. From now on, we will keep a very close eye on things to ensure that there are no more injuries.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

From the home B

The biting incidents resume, and the parent writes a message in the renrakucho after a teacher calls with an explanation and an apology regarding the parent's concerns.

4よん.えん対応たいおうたいしておれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 2
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 2

Model

  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    May 17
    Thank you for your phone call yesterday. The mark on my child's cheek does not appear to be painful. Since the children interact with each other more often these days, I guess they fight more often too? I know the teachers are keeping a close eye on everything, so I hope that we won't be seeing any more of this in the future. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school B
  • Model
  • English translation
    We are really very sorry. We do our best to understand the feelings of the children to prevent things like this from happening, but even if the children love their friends, they still feel the need to be 'number one' at times, and problems can occur between children who were the best of friends just a few minutes ago. However, this may also be a sign of the children's growing interest in the world around them and their friends at school.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

From the home C

Although the teacher has repeatedly spoken with and apologized to the parent at drop-off and pick-up time, the trouble continues. The parent arranges a meeting with the teacher to discuss the problem, and writes a message to the teacher afterwards.

4よん.えん対応たいおうたいしておれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる /えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 3
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 3

Model

  • From the home C
  • Model
  • English translation
    August 2
    I'm glad I was able to talk to you about (child's name) yesterday. I try to tell myself that things like this can't be helped with children this age, but at the same time, I wonder why this situation has continued for so long, and every day I worry that my child will be bitten again. As a parent who entrusts you with their child, I sincerely hope that something can be done about this.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school C
  • Model
  • English translation
    We'd also like to thank you for sparing us some time yesterday evening. We will try to find ways to make improvements, and will work very hard to prevent injuries among the children. Thank you.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

From the home D

The day after meeting with the head of the preschool and the teacher in charge of her child's class, the parent writes a message to apologize for having been overly blunt in expressing her feelings as a parent. By asking the school to let her know if she and her husband can be of any help, she effectively conveys the fact that she considers the discussion of this matter closed.

4.えん対応たいおうたいしておれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいして保護者ほごしゃかんがえや気持きもちをつたえる 4
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Informing the school of your thoughts or feelings with regards to its response 4

Model

  • From the home D
  • Model
  • English translation
    August 4
    Thank you for meeting with me until so late yesterday.
    I'd like to apologize for the many things that I said then. I do realize that we adults have to work together to create a safe and healthy environment for our children, and I am well aware that the teachers are doing everything they can for the children. If there is anything my husband and I can do to help with this situation, we would be very happy to do what we can, and I hope you will let us know. I look forward to your continued support.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school D
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for yesterday. Creating a good environment is truly a matter of the utmost importance. We too will do our best to think of ways to make this happen.
    Today, the children played in the water, and your child had a very good time!
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression

どもがわがままになってきた
When your child displays selfish behavior

2発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする / どもがわがままになってきた
2. Talking about concerns related to your child’s emotional and physical development / When your child displays selfish behavior

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything. My child talks a lot about preschool these days, and I'm glad that she seems to be having a lot of fun!
    However, there is something that is bothering me. My child has become very picky about the clothes she wears and the way we do her hair each morning, and she can be really difficult. I don't know if she's just learning to assert herself, or if she's copying her friends, but I feel like I should do something. It feels like she's becoming selfish, which worries me.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    It's so nice to know that your child talks about school at home, and she really does seem to love coming to kindergarten! Maybe that's why she wants to imitate the clothes or hairstyles of her friends, and makes these demands of you. When she comes to school, she'll excitedly tell us, "Look at my hair! It's the same as ○○-chan's hairstyle!" I'll keep an eye on things at school for a while, and then I'll talk to you again.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything. I appreciate you letting me know how things are at school. I feel a little better knowing that it's not just simply an issue of selfishness. Thank you for your continued support.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

えんのトイレでうんちができない
When your child cannot poop in the preschool potty

2発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする / えんのトイレでうんちができない
2. Talking about concerns related to your child’s emotional and physical development / When your child cannot poop in the preschool potty

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    When we first started this school, my child would always say, "I don't want to go!", but now the question is, "Tomorrow, I go to school, right?", and she is always excited about going to school.
    Actually, I'm writing because there is something that is bothering me. Has my child been able to poop at school? She still has trouble wiping her own bottom...
    When I ask (child's name), "Are you pooping at school?", she says, "No!"
    When I ask, "Why not?", she doesn't say anything.
    When I say, "Maybe I'll ask the teachers about it...", she says, "Don't ask!"
    Is my child having trouble pooping at school?
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    This morning, I talked to (child's name). She hasn't been able to poop at preschool yet, but I gathered that she poops at home around the same time everyday. This may just be a question of her body rhythm, but she may also be a little nervous about pooping somewhere that isn't home. We'll keep an eye on things here. Also, while the kids are still in the nensho (first-year) and nenchu (second-year) classes, we make sure to wipe their bottoms for them one more time after they have wiped themselves.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for letting me know how things are going at school. (Child's name) is still probably dealing with the change in environment, and she may be having trouble relaxing. I'll keep an eye on her at home. Thank you.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

おもらしをする
When your child has toilet training accidents

2発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする / おもらしをする
2. Talking about concerns related to your child’s emotional and physical development / When your child has toilet training accidents

This scenario concerns a child who has pooping accidents at school. The parent worries that the situation at home is causing this.

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    Good morning.
    I'm sorry that my child continues to have pooping accidents. Our pediatrician thinks that it might be stress-related. My younger child takes up a lot of my time, so my older child might not be getting the attention that he needs from me. He may have an accident again, but I'd appreciate your understanding.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for letting us know about the situation. You mentioned that you spoke to a doctor, but I wanted to let you know that on the second day of the pooping accidents, your child was saying that his tummy hurt from the morning on. There's a cold going around now that causes the kids to have diarrhea, and (child's name) may have come down with something. Personally, I don't think these accidents are caused by stress at home. (Child's name) can do a lot more things for himself these days, and when we praise him, he seems to gain in confidence. We'll try to help him to become capable of more and more things on his own, and this might be something to work on at home too.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for getting back to me. You've helped put my mind at ease! Thanks for looking after my child again today.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

あさえんいておやからはなれない
When your child cries and has trouble saying goodbye at school in the morning

2発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする / あさえんいておやからはなれない
2. Talking about concerns related to your child’s emotional and physical development / When your child cries and has trouble saying goodbye at school in the morning

Model

  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything. Actually, I'm writing because recently, my child cries a lot and has trouble saying goodbye to me or his daddy in the mornings. We try to stay with him for a while at school in the morning, but we wonder whether this is just making things worse. Do you think that if parents spend too much time at the school, it just makes it all the more difficult for children to let their parents go? I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd appreciate your advice.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school
  • Model
  • English translation
    We understand that when you see your child crying, it's difficult for a parent to just leave for work. We ourselves want to make sure that (child's name) is comfortable at school, but the time that you and your husband put aside to spend with (child's name) in the morning is a good thing for him, and I think that things are fine as they are. I realize that you have to get to work though, so if you can let me know when you have to leave, I'll take care of (child's name) and you don't have to worry.
    It's the same with many of the other children too, so (child's name) is not alone. The children may cry, but they soon get over it, and they'll go and join their friends or come to us for a nice chat.
    Your child hasn't cried very much this week, and I think he may soon be able to bid his parents a cheerful goodbye!
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    Thank you for your advice. We'll try to get to school a little early in the mornings so we can spend some time with our child. When we have to leave, we'd be thankful if you could take care of him for us.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

どもがえんべない
When your child refuses to eat at school

2. 発育はついく発達はったつについて相談そうだんする / どもがえんべない-再度さいど相談そうだんする場合ばあい
2. Talking about concerns related to your child’s emotional and physical development / When your child refuses to eat at school (a continuing discussion)

4よん.おれい気持きもち・かんがえをつたえる / えん対応たいおうたいして家庭かていでのやりとりをつたえる
4. Conveying your thanks, feelings and thoughts with regards to the school's response / Informing the school of conversations at home that relate to the school's response

Model

  • From the school A
  • Model
  • English translation
    Today, your child started telling us, "I'm not eating any snacks!" from the morning on. She cried about it a little in the morning, but was a big girl and didn't cry about it any more afterwards.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home A
  • Model
  • English translation
    Until yesterday, my child was saying, "I won't go to kindergarten," but this morning she started saying that, "I won't eat the kindergarten snacks," and "I'll bring back the snacks for Mommy." When we're offered snacks at other people's houses, (child's name) has a tendency not to eat them, and it may take her a little longer to eat the snacks she is given at school. I'm sorry for this, but I appreciate your understanding.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home B
  • Model
  • English translation
    As always, thank you for everything.
    I was wondering, what does my child do at school during the bento lunch time? When I ask (child's name), she says, "I cry for my Mommy..." Today, I told her that, "Since you don't eat at kindergarten, it makes Mommy sad," and she seemed to be listening to me. I wonder if my child will start eating once she gets used to school...
    Sato
  • Flow and expression
  • From the school B
  • Model
  • English translation
    I see... Unfortunately, your child didn't eat anything today either, but while everyone is eating she stays in the same room, playing, bouncing up and down and looking happy. She is smiling a lot these days, so why don't we just wait and see how things go? She doesn't cry, so please try not to worry.
    Yoshida
  • Flow and expression
  • From the home C
  • Model
  • English translation
    I feel a little better knowing how things are at school. I'll try not to worry too much myself.
    Sato
  • Flow and expression

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